Well, It has been a month of Sundays since I last wrote something. Actually, the time gap has allowed me to deliberate on what is the main point of concern for the masses that they remain on tenterhooks for a major share of their beautiful lives that they have been bestowed with. Though the disease is quite common yet the panacea is nowhere near and perhaps will never be. So, let’s discuss the elephant in the room. Yes, It’s the infliction of opinions, expectations, and judgments of other people in our lives. I know it has become a very cliché topic, but the various answers or the remedies that have been passed on, fail to manifest themselves in the process as we evolve along. Though I’m not a veteran on this subject, still I would like to endorse my views that might ease your agitated minds a bit.
The game of opinions, expectations, and judgments and various other entities begins when we start seeking the same from the others around us. Never will you find a person who is reluctant to hear himself being applauded, acknowledged and appraised. This is where our main weakness lies. Actually, we only crave for roses, not the thorns that come along with them. What I mean is that we only seek rewards, not the rejections, only what soothes us and not what is filled with repugnance and various other analogies to go with it. Quite often, we forget that the people of this world accept us for who they expect us to be and not for who we are. That’s where I think the knowledge of making oneself “self-effacing” comes into play in the broader context of finding oneself in the position of equanimity.
If I have too little elaborate this, the moment you start letting these intangibles go through your subconscious mind, you automatically lose control over your mental staff in the process because the fear of having allowed other people’s views and thoughts to enter your mind subjugate them eventually. Look, the thing is “You don’t need to prove your mettle by paying heed to any Tom, Dick and Harry’s incongruous facts and figures to arouse disruption in your most beautifully convoluted mind, the only one you have”. Be wise enough to understand that it’s your thoughts, opinions and your intuition that matters. My friend once told me, that the moment you start looking for validation from others, that’s the moment where you enter the corridor of uncertainty and doubtfulness. And dare I say this, I took a serious penchant to his words.
Coming to the other two causes, Expectations and Judgements. My word! They have been the root cause of the mess of many people lives. Needless to say, they aren’t in need of any introduction whatsoever. No matter how many repertoires that may have been performed to avoid yourself getting trapped from these words, none of them would suffice. Let’s come straight to the point one by one. The most common reason why we go high and dry is that we begin to nurture some unrealistic expectations from people around us. We begin to harbor the idea that they are the ones who’ll be making our lives happy. But, the case is entirely different. It’s the beautiful erotomaniac quote I remember, “Happiness is like an orgasm. The more you think of it, the more it drifts away from you”. Just to add on a bit there is no harm in carrying realistic expectations from others keeping in mind the people of this world just don’t exist to fulfill our expectations. To sum up the equation, it’s time to restrict our super high expectations if it hasn’t been done already. Now, coming to the weight of judgments that is in no mood of settling down any soon. No matter which age group you belong to, it’s really all peanuts for anyone to pass his/her judgment on any topic whether he/she is aware of the facts and figures or not. It’s more or less a result of the imagery that has been formed and perhaps will never be altered. But, you should be like, Who cares!.
“Never ever give the remote control of how you feel to someone else. That’s probably the biggest favor that you can do to yourself”
After such a long and vivid description, let’s face it that- “It will never matter what others think of you, it will always matter what you think of you”. Put your feet down and hold your ground and break in and break out. But, be yourself without carrying any despise or abhorrent behavior towards others for their frivolous remarks. That’s the way to march ahead. Always remember, you are who you are when nobody’s watching. So, it’s time to bid adieu to another good edition of writing pro-stuff and not anti-stuff. If it makes any sense to you, do pass it on and please shower upon your valuable suggestions as they will be of great aid.
Thanks a lot for reading. Cheers!